I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
