Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize