I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
