actually, I'm a sock model
We're facebook friends in real life
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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