I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
