I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
