At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize