we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
