My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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