Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
