i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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