I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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