it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
