I cut my penus on the lid.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
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