I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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