I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize