I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
bring money and cleavage
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
