No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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