Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
