As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
wow bdsm is so cute
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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