you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
