did you get engaged???
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
