I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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