is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I am available for nakedness
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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