if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
