i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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