he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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