that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
