do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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