By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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