I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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