We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
