After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize