Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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