On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I need a beard to bite.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
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