Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
