That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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