question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
