think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Randomize
