He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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