I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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