Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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