Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
