# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize