pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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