it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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