Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She bit a glass in half.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Randomize
