Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
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