just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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