I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
