so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
