This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
