hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
