I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
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