What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
