STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
