Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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