I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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