i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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