I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
