she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
