Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
