New low: just hacked my moms facebook
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
